3/18

I'd probably write this a little later when I know for sure how much I'll eat, but I highly suspect that I won't get a chance to update this diary later, so I'm going to have to do it now.

Foods I Ate Today

Little Debbie Swiss Rolls - 270 cal

Pulled Pork - ~701 cal

Barbecue Sauce - 80 cal

Collard Greens - 186 cal

Texas Toast - 180 cal

Corn Fritters - 240 cal

Total - 1657 cal

Weight - 225 lbs (-10 from start)

So, because the restaurant doesn't have any nutritional information, I just kind of guestimate, and usually I do that by over-estimating what I eat.  I'm pretty sure I'm not about to have a 10 oz portion of pulled pork, but honestly I don't know what that looks like.  Usually I just pick the most caloric thing, except I didn't do that for the corn fritters because they're bite-sized pieces, not patties or whatever, and it's a side rather than a full appetizer, so I think 240 looks about right.

I'm pretty happy to see 225.  I haven't been that weight in about a year or maybe even a little longer?  Time goes pretty weirdly for me.  I guess that it has been a little over a year since I've been living here since August.  Right now I can't focus on "big term" goals because they have always been pretty meaningless to me (how am I supposed to plan for 5 years ahead when I'm doubtful that I will even make it that long? That's such a long time to exist).  So right now I'm working on 5 lb increments.  So, now that I've seen 225, I am looking forward to seeing 220.

Right now my mom isn't talking to me, and I suspect that might change when dinner actually arrives back at home.  I fake laughed at something I didn't personally find funny, and it came out a little weird, and she got offended.  That's kind of the long and short of it.  I don't really know what to expect, but I'm trying to use this time to just kind of relax and have a bit of reprieve before the bomb explodes.

On the plus side, I've chosen to actually start looking at my tax information (god, self-employed taxes are so fucking difficult), and I've officially written the check that I've been needing to to pay for the rent of living at my parents'.  And, it's a lot because I haven't written a check for almost a full year.  Ouch.  However, they don't want it to look like income, and they refuse to take my idea of a gift tax ("but it's not a gift" "yeah, but the government really doesn't care"), so I have to get my father to sign the check from our joint accounts.  It's so tiring working with money.